


symbiosis and decay

by baekedpotato (rokuseru)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst, Drama, Dubious Consent, Fluff and Angst, Infidelity, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Slow Burn, other warnings withheld due to spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 22:50:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10501074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rokuseru/pseuds/baekedpotato
Summary: Princes were made to be kings, but Chanyeol didn't want the crown, he only wanted to be with Baekhyun. Even if it meant doing anything and everything to keep them together.





	

**Author's Note:**

> fic is loosely based on this [ tweetfic](https://twitter.com/toppopie/status/800701520782069760) (may contain spoilers)  
> this fic also does not abide by historical fact.  
> Please check the warnings carefully. I've also withheld some due to spoilers.  
> Thank you to my beta~ [ @PinyaYeolada](http://twitter.com/PinyaYeolada), without whom this story may not have been told properly.

**Syndrome of Growth**

_[n.] an extreme form of development made up of biophilia, love, and positive freedom._

•••••

It was a winter night when a miracle happened. As the night fell, snow danced down on the land, covering the intricate designs of the palace. The horns blared and the gongs were banged-- the noise vibrating from the outer walls palace until the far corners of the rooms.

 

Queen Soo Yeon, despite her fatigue, smiled at the small creature in her arms. The child’s face was red as he released his first cry into the world. Everyone around him sighed in relief at the noise he was making, Queen Soo Yeon more than anyone else. She held her child carefully and thought he was the most beautiful thing she had ever laid her eyes upon. It was love at first sight after two miscarriages, a crown prince finally came to the world.

 

The son was named Chanyeol. Queen Soo Yeon loved him very much. Growing up, Chanyeol never experienced refusal from any of his wishes. He was given the best of toys. He was adorned in the warmest clothes that were made from the most exquisite fabrics. As the only son of Queen Soo Yeon, Chanyeol, to put it bluntly, grew up with more than a golden spoon in his mouth, he grew up with a palace at his feet.

 

Queen Soo Yeon loved Chanyeol. And he loved her. At night, he would hear the sweet sound of her lullaby before he was swept by the stars. Chanyeol had everything he needed in the world.

 

Except for a friend.

 

He was a little lonely, having no siblings. He wasn’t even allowed to leave the palace. There were servants who played with him, but Chanyeol never really enjoyed spending his time with them. They were always so careful around him. For a boy, he wanted to run, to wrestle, and to sweat.

 

Chanyeol wasn’t allowed to leave the palace. Queen Soo Yeon feared for Chanyeol’s safety. He was confined within the stone walls of the palace.

 

What else is there outside? His mother would say. They had acres of trees, warm quarters and the best of everything the country could offer. There was no need to explore the outdoors. He was too important for such a risk. Chanyeol complained, but he had no power against his mother.

 

On a hot summer’s day, young Chanyeol was splashing around the water . The water was cool in his feet and the breeze a relief on his skin. With the heat, he almost thought that the sight of the young boy beside him was  a trick of his eyes.

 

One smile was all it took. It happened in the same way the clouds dance away from each other after the rain to scatter sunshine on the earth. There were twinkles in the boy’s eyes akin to the stars at night.

Just like that, Chanyeol met Baekhyun, the boy with stars in his eyes and bright personality that radiated through his smile.

 

“What did you do today, my dear Chanyeol?” His mother asked from behind him as she carefully combed his dark hair.

 

”I met a boy today. He agreed to be my friend.”　Chanyeol gleefully blurted out. He felt the excitement in his fingertips. He wanted to tell more about his new friend Baekhyun, but at the same time, he didn’t want anyone else to know about him.

 

“Is that so?” his mother hummed, mildly distracted. “I’m glad you’re having fun.”

 

Since that meeting, Chanyeol and Baekhyun spent their time playing together. Chanyeol celebrated the fact that he had another person his age to share his toys with. Baekhyun quickly became his favorite person in a short amount of time.  His smile was contagious. He liked to laugh at the small things. He’d tease Chanyeol for his ears. Chanyeol was completely fascinated with learning everything about Baekhyun, the first friend he ever made.

 

Baekhyun was so energetic-- even more than Chanyeol. He loved to flick Chanyeol on the forehead and then run around until he was caught. Then Chanyeol would  tickle him to the ground. The days together with Baekhyun were filled with laughter and smiles. And for a moment, with Baekhyun, Chanyeol got to experience childhood like any other kid.

 

And so, Baekhyun became Chanyeol’s only friend.  Chanyeol didn’t understand why Baekhyun was the only child inside the palace who didn’t have the same duties as the other children who were training to become royal guards. Baekhyun couldn’t give him an answer either. Curiosity urged Baekhyun to ask his mother about it.

 

“We’re the hidden pearls of the king, Baekhyun. Treasured, but we must never be seen.”

 

“Why, mother?”

 

“Someone might steal us away.”

 

•••••

 

The garden was their special place to meet. The trees provided them with shade and the bloom of the flowers were Baekhyun’s  favorite thing to look at.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun were sitting side by side on the soil. Chanyeol watched Baekhyun as he studied the soft petals with his lithe finger. Baekhyun was so gentle and curious. Sometimes, too much for his own good.

 

Baekhyun told him about his mother’s words.

 

“I’d be afraid of someone stealing you away too,” Chanyeol said as he leaned back and smiled at his favorite person. Baekhyun may love to look at the flowers, but Chanyeol loved to look at him.

 

Baekhyun playfully punched Chanyeol’s shoulder as he hid the blush in his face behind his hand, “Don’t say things like that.”

 

“It’s true. You’re my best friend.” Chanyeol moved his hand over Baekhyun’s. They’ve held hands before, but this time, when Chanyeol intertwined their fingers, it felt different, like tiny sparks of fire playing on his skin. Chanyeol’s soft hands were large over Baekhyun’s calloused ones. Baekhyun slightly flinched but Chanyeol held it tighter.

 

Baekhyun’s heart was pounding loudly in his ears. The warmth of Chanyeol’s hand traveled all over his body. His hand was suddenly clammy. He hadn’t noticed how close they were.

 

Baekhyun bit his lower lip.

 

They were already thirteen years old. Baekhyun had noticed the changes in his and Chanyeol’s bodies. Chanyeol was quickly growing over him, his shadow becoming taller while his stayed the same. Chanyeol’s voice would often cracked, sometimes revealing a deep voice of the man he growing up to be. Baekhyun wished he had been that lucky, but unfortunately, puberty had only brought awkwardness and wet dreams.

 

He gulped at the thought, a seed of fear planted in his gut. He had heard of the stories from the other servants. They’ve told him that during spring, the bud of infatuation effloresced into love. That he’d meet the person who will make him _desire_ for the sort of companionship he never wanted before.

 

Right now, he couldn’t think of anyone like that. And it wasn’t like he’d meet anyone either. But, Chanyeol was certainly making him feel like a ripe flower.  

 

“You’re my best friend too.”

 

Something had changed after that. There was something about the moment when they held hands that Baekhyun couldn’t put into words. It sat still in Baekhyun’s heart, thumping softly and steadily. Waiting.

 

•••••

 

They had known each other for three years. But it was only now that Chanyeol invited Baekhyun to join him and his mother at the table to dine.

 

Queen Soo Yeon had many duties as the head of all female servants. In the morning, she makes sure to choose the proper meals for the King. In the afternoon, she saw to it to personally train the servants and oversee their activities. As a young child, Chanyeol stomped his feet when his mother would tell him that she needed to visit the other parts of the country. He barely saw his mother when she was in the palace, he’d see her less if she was away.

 

From the start of the day, Chanyeol had only the dinner in his mind. He woke up at dawn, fumbling through the different garments to choose what he was going to impress Baekhyun with. He even found a few articles of clothing he didn’t know he owned.

 

There were rabbits in his chest upon the realization that his mother would finally meet the boy whom he always talks about everyday.

 

“You have to be there early, okay?” Chanyeol told Baekhyun. “And wear the blue _hanbok_. You look cute in it.”

 

Baekhyun blushed, his hands fidgeted in his lap.

 

“What if I make a mistake and she won’t like me?” It was entirely possible, Baekhyun heard of the stories about the queen and her wrath. She wasn’t very nice to the servants when they made mistakes.

 

“That’s impossible,” Chanyeol went for Baekhyun’s hands, holding them firmly between his. “There’s no way anyone won’t like you.”

 

There it was again, the fast thump against his ribs.

 

“Why do you keep holding my hands?” Baekhyun focused on the steady fall of the leaves behind Chanyeol, afraid to lock his gaze on the latter. His eyes would say too much.

 

Chanyeol’s eyes form half crescent moons at Baekhyun’s question, he looked at Baekhyun as if the answer wasn’t obvious, “because they’re so warm, Baekhyunee.”

 

**•••••**

 

“I’m excited to meet your friend,” his mother said, expressing her shared sentiments as she brushed a stray hair from Chanyeol’s cheek, “You always talk about him. Is he training to be a king’s guard?”

 

“Ah, no,” Chanyeol thought back to the children who reside in the far east of the palace. He didn’t really like them. They were always too afraid to approach him, being the crown prince and all. Besides, they were always in training in the forests so he never saw them a lot.

 

“He’s just like me!” Chanyeol said.

 

“Just like you? What do-” but before she could finish her inquiry, Chanyeol started pointing from behind her, almost jumping up and down from his seat.   

 

“Baekhyun,” the prince waved, “over here!”

 

He smiled at his best friend who was approaching. There was nothing more that made him as happy than to be together with his two favorite people.

 

“I would like to apologize for my tardiness. It’s a pleasure to be eating with you, My qu-” Baekhyun bowed, but was interrupted.

 

“Mother, mother,” Chanyeol tugged on Baekhyun’s robes and pulled him closer, making the smaller boy mess up his greeting, “This is him, this is Baekhyun.”

 

“Baekhyun? Byun Baekhyun?” His mother, whom he expected to smile, raised an eyebrow instead.

 

“Yes, your majesty,” Baekhyun audibly whispers, cheeks flushed in pink.

 

She did not say anything. Baekhyun took this as a cue to open the package he had brought.

 

“I, um, brought these gifts,” he opened the box to reveal an array of handmade sweets, “as thanks for inviting me to your table.”

 

The queen’s lack of response was compensated by her son’s enthusiastic curiosity.

 

“These look good, Baekhyunnie, did you make them yourself?”

 

“Um, yes,” Baekhyun glances back and forth from Chanyeol to the queen, “your highness, I suggest you try-”

 

“Leave.”

 

“Um, I-I’m…” Baekhyun froze in his spot.

 

“Leave my sight, you putrid child. And take these,” she gestured to the gifts like they were garbage, “with you.”

 

“Mother!” Chanyeol stood up but his mother’s firm hand held him from taking another step.

 

Quickly, Baekhyun put his gift away, hiding it from the Queen’s glare. He only wished he could do the same. “I apologize,” Baekhyun bowed again and hurriedly left before Chanyeol could utter another word of protest.

 

Within seconds, Baekhyun left the premises, clutching the gift in his chest as he ran away.

 

Chanyeol stared at his mother with wide eyes and a look of disbelief. She knew that Baekhyun was his best friend. To turn him away without a logical explanation-

 

“Why did you do that?” He wanted to scream at her, but being that she’s his mother, he only managed to raise his voice.

 

“That child is foul. I don’t want you to see him again, understand?” His glare was not going to work at her. With ice in her voice, she cut down his poor attempt for an attack.

 

“Mother, that’s not fair.”

 

“He will corrupt you, Chanyeol. Promise me, okay?” She held his face, her sharp nails digging into his cheeks.

“But mother-” Baekhyun is his best friend. That’s like asking him to stop breathing.

 

“Chanyeol.” She interrupted,  “As the crown prince, you must know the kind of people you should associate with. And the people you shouldn’t. That _child_ , Baekhyun, isn’t one of them.”

 

He didn’t understand. How could she say those things. What kind of people should he even associate with? He’s never allowed outside. He doesn’t have _other_ friends, much less people to talk with.

 

“I don’t _have_ other people,” Chanyeol spat the bitter truth. He used to be alone. His mother’s protection was a two-edged blade that also acted as another wall to separate him from other people. They were too afraid to befriend him, and just when he finally found someone who was enough to fill all the missing parts of Chanyeol’s life, his mother forces them apart.

 

“Then I’ll arrange you to join the king’s guard in their training. Make other friends there. Stay away from that boy.”

 

“But-”

 

“My word is final.”

 

Chanyeol flinched, this was the first time he was on the receiving end of his mother’s sharp tone.

 

Queen Soo Yeon softly held his hands. “My son, someday, you will understand. That child will only cause you your downfall.” She said before hugging him.

 

**•••••**

In the mornings, the servants wake before the sun peeks out from the mountains. Quickly, they move before the royal family wakes from their slumber. Chanyeol knew that his mother wouldn’t be up until another hour. Tiptoeing out of his room, he threaded over to Baekhyun’s room. His bare feet was smooth against the wooden floors. A soft sound could be heard in his every step. It was a short walk from their area, but luckily, the servants didn’t pay him any mind.

 

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol lightly knocked on their door. “Are you there, Baekhyunee? I’m sorry about last night. Can you please come out?” He whispered through the small crack.

 

The door slid open, making Chanyeol step back in surprise. A middle aged woman stood before him, with her long dark silky hair. A serene expression was on her face, mixed with slight surprise as she saw who was as their door.

 

“Prince Chanyeol. To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?” She smiled at him and Chanyeol thought that he had seen that expression before.

 

She was very pretty and the morning light illuminated her delicate features. She had grey downturned eyes and she was petite, only taller by Chanyeol by a few inches. Her lips were red and her face was kind. Her mere presence made Chanyeol blush.

 

“Um,” he suddenly felt bashful, looking instead at his feet, “Is Baekhyunee here?”

 

“Baekhyun? He’s still asleep. May I ask why you’re asking for him?”

 

“I wanted to apologize for last night.”

 

“Last night…” she scrunched her eyebrows, searching for something in Chanyeol’s face until realization dawned on her, “Oh. Is that why Baekhyun was crying last night?”

 

“He was crying?!” Chanyeol almost shouted. He didn’t know that Baekhyun cried. Maybe he should’ve chased after Baekhyun and made sure he was okay. What kind of friend was he? How could he let Baekhyun cry like that?

 

“Yes. And he wouldn’t tell me what happened. Maybe you can help me, Prince Chanyeol.”

 

“Baekhyun visited us for dinner last night. But my mom didn’t even let him join the table for some reason.  ” Chanyeol earnestly explained. He went through every detail from how polite Baekhyun was and how angered his mother was even before anything happened.

 

She listened to him patiently. For a moment, Chanyeol was scared she’ll shout at him but she was nothing but cool and collected.

 

“Thank you for telling me that, Prince Chanyeol. You certainly helped explain some things.”

“Are you his mom?” He suddenlyfelt very small, petite as she may be, she still delivered some sort of confidence and elegance.

 

“Yes. My name is Hyeon Ju. And I know all about you, Prince Chanyeol. Baekhyun doesn’t stop talking about you.”

 

“Of course. I’m his best friend.” Chanyeol said maybe a little too enthusiastically.

 

“You’re confident, my prince. Just like your father.”

 

“You’ve met my father?” Chanyeol thought she must be of someone important. His father-- the King-- rarely roamed the palace to converse with the commoners.

 

“Yes, attend to his health. I’ve also noticed that you have your father’s ears,” Hyeon Ju chuckles softly.

 

Chanyeol feels heat rise to his earlobes, “Baekhyunee has big ears too!”

 

She laughs, albeit even more softly, “That he does. No wonder you guys are friends.”

 

“I have to go now, Miss Hyeon Ju. Can you please tell Baekhyun I visited him?”

 

“Sure,” she nodded, “But wait for him, okay?”

 

“Okay.” Chanyeol nodded. He returned covertly to his room, glad that Baekhyun’s mother was a lot more understanding.

 

•••••

Chanyeol waited for Baekhyun, careful not to push the older. Besides, his mother was keeping a close eye on him and he couldn’t be caught socializing with Baekhyun again. However, the days turned into weeks and before Chanyeol knew it, more than a month had passed since he saw Baekhyun.

 

He missed his best friend. Baekhyun made living locked up in the palace a lot easier with his company. Chanyeol loved his mother, and he liked being a prince, but there were too many restrictions. Too many rules. He just wanted to play and be free. He wanted to be with Baekhyun. Why did his mother hate Baekhyun? Baekhyun wasn’t putrid. He was the most amazing person Chanyeol had ever met.

 

He couldn’t take this any longer. He had to see Baekhyun. He just had to.

 

Thankfully, his mother was busy orienting the new court ladies so Chanyeol had time to wander around. His lessons were over anyway. Minseok had taught him the new swings to disarm his opponents. As he was getting taller, it was getting easier to defend himself against Minseok.

 

It was a long walk, and the winter air wasn’t making it easier for Chanyeol. He breathed into his palms for heat as his eyes searched for his best friend.

 

Sometimes, Baekhyun would be in the gardens. However, with the weather, he probably wouldn’t be out there. He could be in the baths, but Chanyeol doesn’t know how to go there without being spotted. Chanyeol wondered what Baekhyun did in the past months. Did he miss Chanyeol? If he did, why didn’t he look for him?

 

It wasn’t fair.

 

Chanyeol was about to call it a day. It was freezing and he could feel his toes grow cold by the minute when he heard someone call him from behind.

 

“Yeollie?” Baekhyun muttered, cheeks red. Was it from the cold or…? His face was scrunched up and eyes glinting like fresh dew drops.

 

“Baekhyunee?” He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Slightly taller, but still pale-skinned, still the same chubby cheeks and still the same Baekhyun he wanted to see.

 

“Eep!” Chanyeol heard Baekhyun say before scrambling with the scrolls he had in his arms. Before Chanyeol knew it, Baekhyun was bolting.

 

“Baekhyun, wait!” Chanyeol ran after him, which wasn’t really difficult. With his shorter legs, Baekhyun couldn’t get any farther. Within seconds, he was able to grab Baekhyun’s arm.

 

“Let me go,” Baekhyun tried to pull his arm away, lamely.

 

“You know you’re not good at running, what are you doing?”

 

“Nothing. Just let me go,” Baekhyun snapped, eyes still fixed on his own feet.

 

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol lowered his voice, “I haven’t seen you in months.” What was Baekhyun doing? Here Chanyeol was, absolutely tormented that he hadn’t seen his best friend since that night they attempted to dine together with his mother. He couldn’t fathom that Baekhyun’s first reaction to seeing him was to run away.

“Baek?” Chanyeol looked over to his best friend, waiting for the answer. Baekhyun was biting his bottom lip and the scroll in his hand was scrunched up in his fists.

 

Sniff.

 

“Bae..khyunnee?” Chanyeol bent down. “Are you… crying?”

 

“You’re so mean, Chanyeollie!” Baekhyun hit him on the arm with the scroll, also showing his damp face and dripping nose to Chanyeol. “I’m… I’m trying to avoid you and, and,” Hiccup, “You’re making it hard.”

 

“Avoid me?” Chanyeol’s stomach sank. “...Why?”

 

“Because…”

 

Chanyeol waited for the explanation he’s been looking for.

 

“Because you have big ears!”

 

“You have big ears too!”

 

Both of their faces were growing red. Ready to bust, Chanyeol was about to say something when arms reached out for his waist and the next thing Chanyeol knew, he was engulfed in heavenly warmth. Chanyeol relaxed and hugged him back. He was so small.

 

“I missed you,” Baekhyun murmured, after a minute of silence.

 

“Me too.” Chanyeol felt Baekhyun’s cheek press against his shoulders. He could smell fresh soap in Baekhyun’s hair. Chanyeol slid his arms down to Baekhyun’s waist, resting them in that comfortable position.

 

“I’m sorry for avoiding you.” Baekhyun was lightly scratching at a spot in Chanyeol’s back.

 

“It’s okay. But please don’t ever do that again.” Chanyeol leaned his cheek to Baekhyun’s head, feeling the soft tresses of his hair.

 

“It’s just that… I don’t want to cause any more trouble…”

 

“Ah.” Chanyeol thought of the fiasco with his mother, “Mother is just… being difficult. And you didn’t cause any trouble. I still want to spend time with you.”

 

“Really?” Baekhyun tipped his head back to look at Chanyeol, pouting his pink lips, and his arms still around the latter. His fingers clutched tightly at Chanyeol’s robe, scared to let him go. Chanyeol looked back inquisitively. Baekhyun stared at Chanyeol like a puppy waiting for his master's approval.

 

Chanyeol nodded. Then leaned down to softly meet their foreheads together. Their eyes were fixed on each others’,  Chanyeol could clearly see Baekhyun’s smooth skin. Maybe they were a little too close, because he could feel Baekhyun’s breath on his lips, but it felt so nice.

 

“I’ll always be here.”

 

“Promise?”

 

“I promise.”

 

“I’m really glad, but I don’t want to make The Queen angry.”

 

Chanyeol sighed. Baekhyun was right. If his mother found out about any of this, she’d immediately make sure that he and Baekhyun will never meet again.

 

“I’ll find a way,” Chanyeol assured Baekhyun.

 

It was probably peculiar, the image of two pubescent boys holding each other in the open cold. If someone had seen them, the Queen would be notified immediately and Baekhyun would be locked or sent away at a snap of a finger. Chanyeol would cry and in a few years, he may get over it. The memory of a childhood friend would pass only in lazy musings. It could’ve happened. And maybe it should have, because it was better to separate Chanyeol and Baekhyun as early as then. However, Fate gave them then a breath of relief, one of the last for a long while.

 

•••••

 

There weren’t many ways to communicate in secret inside the palace. Eyes were peeking in every corner and ears were eavesdropping through the walls. The court ladies always seemed to be shuffling in the hallways. Where Chanyeol went, one would always follow.It felt like they were waiting.

 

Fortunately, the Queen did not have authority over the royal guards and the knights in training.

 

The prince was good friends with Minseok, his sword art teacher along with the fellow students, Jongdae and Sehun. They offered a comforting friendship while he wasn’t able to see Baekhyun. There was also Jongin, who was training to be his personal physician, but they didn’t see each other very much.

 

Sehun was living nearby Baekhyun’s quarters, which was something that Chanyeol took advantage of.. He was happy to help Chanyeol deliver his letters to Baekhyun. It was risky, because the Queen could, at anytime, look through Chanyeol’s belongings. And the letters could always be intercepted.

 

Still, it was better than nothing.

 

It allowed them to meet during the dead of the night, when everyone was already asleep. They’d use the time to just sit outside and talk. Chanyeol would hold Baekhyun’s hand like it was the most precious thing in the world, while they tell each other about their days.

 

“My mother is away again. Seems like the King needs her help again.” Baekhyun sighed as his fingers played with Chanyeol’s hair. The night air was freezing, moreso that Baekhyun laid his robe on Chanyeol to protect him from the cold. Chanyeol was lying on the grass, head snuggled on Baekhyun’s lap. He could see the stars from where he laid.

 

“Father? She went with him to Baekjae?” Chanyeol asked, looking up to Baekhyun, still snuggled under the older’s robe. The King often went out for visits. Even as the prince, Chanyeol rarely saw him.

 

“She did. She’s one of his personal servants, after all.”

 

“Hm?” Chanyeol paused for a moment. “Then that means that your quarters are free, right?”

 

“What do you mean?” Baekhyun was lightly stroking Chanyeol’s hair.

 

“I’ll go there tomorrow, after my classes. You have the afternoon free, right?”

 

“What do you plan to do?”

 

“Nothing.” He grabbed Baekhyun’s hand and squeezed it. “Just want to be alone with you.”

 

“A-Alone?”

 

“Yes. It’s decided then.” Chanyeol got up, padded his clothing and lightly pecked Baekhyun’s cheek. “See you tomorrow!”

 

Quickly, Chanyeol left, leaving the smaller boy dazed and confused.

 

•••••

 

For a prince like Chanyeol, the usual schedule involved combat lessons, courtesy lessons, hunting, war strategies and his basic education.

 

As an adolescent, Chanyeol was learning what it means to rule a country. It was more than prestigious dinners, or a glamorous lifestyle. It’s more than being taught tactics and politics. Slowly, he was realizing a great deal about his responsibilities and how he has yet to learn more.

 

The burden of his title was slowly weighing down on him. The secret meetings he had with Baekhyun were the only enjoyment he was getting at the moment, to be honest.

 

The minute Chanyeol’s afternoon classes finished, he immediately  packed his stuff up.

 

“Chanyeol? Where are you going?” Sehun, a classmate, asked as he fixed his belongings.

 

“Minseok asked me to drop by today to try that new technique. So please excuse me from today’s lessons.” Chanyeol waved goodbye even before Sehun could respond.

 

He marched to the training grounds, where Minseok was already slashing a sword at the wooden dummies, warming himself up for their lessons.

 

“Chanyeol. Ready to practice?” Minseok called out.

 

“I apologize, teacher Minseok. I was asked to spend extra time for the upcoming exam.”

 

“Ah.”

Truth be told, Chanyeol had grown used to bending the truth. When his mother became perpetually paranoid, Chanyeol had no choice but to lie to her if he wanted to do something outside her supervision.

 

“Baekhyunee?” Chanyeol knocked on the door. “It’s Chanyeol.”

 

Chanyeol waited a few seconds. He knocked again and when it seemed like no one was going to answer, he heard Baekhyun’s voice. “Come...in.”

 

“Excuse me,” Chanyeol slid the door open. So this was Baekhyun’s room. It was smaller than his own, but it had two beds and a few tables that were littered with bottles and scrolls. It wasn’t like the other sleeping quarters he had seen. He couldn’t really describe it, but it looked like it was more of a home than just a simple room.

 

“He-hey,” Baekhyun waved from his bed. He was lying down, his face damp from sweat, and his lips were pale,

 

“Eh? Are you alright?” Chanyeol dropped the basket on the floor, a gift he prepared, and hurried to his best friend. Immediately, he placed the palm of his hand on Baekhyun’s forehead.

 

“Baekhyun! You’re burning up!”

 

“No, it’s nothing. I just didn’t get a lot of sleep yesterday…” Baekhyun feebly explained.

 

“Stay here. I’ll call someone.”

 

“N-no,” Baekhyun tried to shout, “They’ll find out you were here. It’s… fine.”

 

Chanyeol flinched. Calling a doctor would mean telling his mother of his whereabouts. Then again, he couldn’t just leave Baekhyun alone.

 

“Let me help you. You know this stuff, right? You can tell me what do.”

 

Baekhyun forced a smile, “Can you.. Take the garlic from the cupboard over there? And then… under that… are the mugworts… the green leaves. I read something… about it...”

 

Chanyeol nodded and hurriedly did what Baekhyun said. His poor best friend was already struggling to instruct him. He took the ingredients and crushed them with a mortar and pestle. After mixing them up, he pressed a spoonful to Baekhyun’s lips.

 

“It smells weird,” Baekhyun made a face.

 

“You’re the one who told me to make this.”

 

“Yes, but I only read about it. All I knew was that ingesting it would help curb an illness. I didn’t know it would be this… gross.”

 

“Baekhyunnee, just eat it. Please.” Chanyeol scolded.

 

“Okay.” Baekhyun forced himself the medicine and stuck his tongue out in disgust. He looked like he was going to vomit and not because of his fever.

 

“Here,” Chanyeol assisted Baekhyun to a drink of water. “Now just stay here and I’ll get something.”

 

“Not like… I can move…” Baekhyun giggled.

 

“.... Shut up, Baekhyun.”

 

In a few minutes, Chanyeol came back with a basin of water and a small cloth. He prepared it like his mother used to do for him when he was ill. Chanyeol checked Baekhyun’s temperature again and was glad that it hadn’t gone up.

 

“Thank you… Chanyeollie,” Baekhyun’s hand slid out of the covers and touched Chanyeol’s hand, curling his fingers around it. Chanyeol smiled back and held it carefully, not even daring to let go.

 

The sun was quietly setting down. Hues of blue and yellow stretched across the sky while birds flew over the expanse, decorating it with a dark contrast.

 

Chanyeol stirred from his sleep, head resting on Baekhyun’s chest and a hand still held in between his. Baekhyun was still sleeping, but he didn’t seem as pale as earlier.

 

Baekhyun’s hand was warm against his own and even if he didn’t want to, he pulled it away to check his temperature again and replace the wet cloth over his forehead. Thankfully, Baekhyun seemed to be getting better.

 

Chanyeol gave a sigh of relief. He was really worried for a while. This was the first time that he had to take care of someone and Baekhyun looked really unwell. He can’t lose his best friend from a fever, right? But then again, there  have been people who have died from it… but from the stories he’d heard, they had an open wound… Baekhyun won’t die, right? Chanyeol doesn’t know what he’ll do if Baekhyun will die.

 

“Don’t die… Baekhyunee,” he whispered.

 

“Uhn,” Baekhyun roused, turning his body toward Chanyeol.

 

“Baek?” Chanyeol whispered, unsure if Baekhyun was still asleep.

 

His best friend, despite feeling under the weather, still looked very pretty. His lips were slightly open and his hair fell softly on his forehead. It was a nice image, one that Chanyeol could look at forever.

 

A few days ago, Baekhyun surprised Chanyeol. They met after dinner, and more than anything, they would usually talk. However, the other night, Baekhyun greeted him with a box full of handmade sweets. It was Baekhyun’s first time to cook without any help, and he saved it all for Chanyeol.

 

Excitedly, Chanyeol took a bite. Which he realized, was a mistake, when the food met his tongue. The sugar in it was enough to energize a large man and the texture was too difficult to chew through.

 

Baekhyun waited for his reaction, as he struggled in swallowing. He couldn’t bear to see Baekhyun disappointed. He had worked so hard on making it.

 

“It’s delicious, Baekhyunee.” he lied through his teeth.

 

Since then, Chanyeol realized his feelings for Baekhyun had grown. And at that point, he stopped denying that whatever emotions he held for Baekhyun were platonic. He didn’t want to just protect Baekhyun or to be with him all the time. He wanted to know how those lips would feel against his, and how he would stop the whole world just to see Baekhyun smile.

 

It was overwhelming. Like a wave crashing into his body, the feelings took over him. He thinks of nothing but being with Baekhyun, talking to him, hearing about his day. Even _just_ looking at him. Chanyeol goes to bed every night with the thoughts of Baekhyun in his dreams.

 

It was love, wasn’t it? He had heard stories about it, but he never thought he’d feel it toward his best friend.

 

Was it okay? To fall in love with a boy?

 

Honestly, he didn’t know. But Baekhyun was here in front of him and Chanyeol wanted nothing more than to kiss him. Would it taste like mogwart and garlic? Would it feel like kissing a soft budding flower?

 

Slowly, he inched closer, feeling warm breath. Baekhyun was asleep right? He wouldn’t know if...

 

“Chanyeol? What are you doing?” Baekhyun groaned as Chanyeol almost rolled over backwards in surprise.

 

“N-nothing!” His cheeks flared. He was sure his ears were also as red as a tomato.

 

Baekhyun exhaled a giggle and almost immediately, went back to sleep.  Chanyeol wondered if Baekhyun was even really awake or was his outburst for nothing.

 

As the sun disappeared under the mountains and the moon met the land with a glimmer, Chanyeol left Baekhyun but not before promising that he’ll return.

 

During dinner, his mother asked him where he went for hours and Chanyeol smoothly told her that he went for a long walk. She gave him a frown and reprimanded him, telling him that there were better use of his time than such pleasantries.

Chanyeol didn’t say anything, barely even listening to her tirade.

 

“Chanyeol, are you listening?”

 

“Yes, mother.”

 

“Sit up straight. As I was saying, we’ve communicated with the envoy and…”

 

Everything else faded after that.

 

•••••

 

The sun hadn’t risen yet when Baekhyun woke up. He didn’t have a fever anymore and he felt a lot better than he did yesterday.

 

Aside from studying, Baekhyun also did all the chores--from cleaning their room to laundry washing. With him incapacitated yesterday, there’d be an amount of tasks he had to complete. Kind as she may be, his mother wouldn’t be happy to come home to a cluttered home **.** He was ready to start his chores, when he noticed that under the shadow of the moon, there was a dark mop of hair sleeping on top of him.   

 

“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun was surprised. Did Chanyeol stay the entire night? The thought made his chest feel full

 

Chanyeol had his right cheek lying down on the side of Baekhyun’s bed. Baekhyun could see his precious prince sleeping peacefully. Maybe Baekhyun hadn’t noticed before, but his best friend was slowly becoming a man. The cute mole on the right side of his nose that Baekhyun used to flick all the time brought him back to their childhood when Chanyeol was a huge crybaby.

 

The first time Baekhyun saw Chanyeol cry was when The Queen had scolded him for not getting his calligraphy right. He was eight when she smacked his hand and left a blooming red.

 

Chanyeol held his composure until later that afternoon when he met with Baekhyun. He had immediately cried into the latter’s arms the instant Baekhyun arrived.

 

Now, Chanyeol was taller than him. His voice was deeper and he carried in him a sense of regality. Soon enough, he’ll be king. Meeting him would be near impossible then.

 

“I’ll miss you,” Baekhyun whispered as he softly caressed Chanyeol’s hair. “But I know you’ll be a great king.”

 

•••••

 

 

 

> _“How do you know if you like someone?” Baekhyun brought it up while his mother was teaching him how to mix common medicine ingredients._
> 
>  
> 
> _“Hmm? Do you mean in a friendly way or in another way?” She asked, voice laced with more than a little curiosity._
> 
>  
> 
> _Maybe this was an awkward topic. However, Baekhyun didn’t have anyone to discuss it with except his mother._
> 
>  
> 
> _“Um, in another way.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Baekhyun’s mother laughs. “I’ve been in love only once. I think, if they make your heart feel like it’s always ready to burst. When you’re with them, you still miss them. And even just seeing them makes you smile.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“O-oh…” A specific person crossed Baekhyun’s mind. He tried to hide his flush by reaching for the herb in the far right of the working table._
> 
>  
> 
> _“It’s like that in the beginning. But as time passes, you’ll find out that love is more than those fleeting feelings. Someday, you’ll be forced to make a choice. It can be painful but if you really love the person, it’s always worth it.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“Does it really have to be painful?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“It wouldn’t be true love without it.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“...Did you love my father?” Despite Hyeon Ju not telling Baekhyun anything about his father, Baekhyun was still curious. Surely, he was born out of love?_
> 
>  
> 
> _“I still do. Not a day passes when I want him to hold me again.” She smiled at him, albeit with a hint of melancholy._
> 
>  
> 
> _(Baekhyun tries not think about Chanyeol. It’s inevitable, still.)_
> 
>  
> 
> •••••

 

“Have you ever been in love, Yeollie?”  Baekhyun blurted the words out. Chanyeol was staying with him in their quarters again, inspecting the different jars he had stored. They’re sitting side by side, as close as they can possibly be. Surely, Chanyeol can feel how hot Baekhyun is in his skin if they weren’t wearing anything

 

“What do you mean?” Chanyeol absentmindedly asked, still observing the contents of the jars.

“Like, someone you always want to be with. Someone who makes you smile.” Baekhyun breathed out heavily, as if pouring his heart out in every words, “ That’s what my mom says, anyway.”

 

Chanyeol ponders for a moment, dropping the jar of medicine beside him. “I guess… if it’s someone I always want to be with, then it has to be you.”

 

“M-me?”

 

“Yeah. You make me smile all the time, Baekhyunnee.” Chanyeol said all too casually, like he was describing the weather.

 

“But… my mom says if you love someone, you have to marry them…”

 

Did it mean Chanyeol wanted to marry him? It couldn’t be, probably. They already spent time together and Baekhyun was a boy. He wasn’t allowed to marry Chanyeol.

 

“If… I really had to marry anyone, I wish it was you.” Chanyeol’s voice was low, with a hint of conviction. He turned away from Baekhyun after he had said those words, as if he was contemplating.

 

Oh. Baekhyun’s tongue was caught in his throat. What was Chanyeol saying? Did he mean…?

 

Was Chanyeol asking if Baekhyun liked him? Or was this all a theoretical? Either way, Baekhyun couldn’t… his throat was closing up. His heart was thumping violently against his chest. Chanyeol was his best friend. His prince. Was it appropriate? Was it okay to admit all this?

 

“Do _you_ want to marry me?” Chanyeol broke the silence.

 

“I do…” Baekhyun bit his lip, voice barely audible, “but… we’re both boys…”

 

“I don’t care. Do you?” Chanyeol was inching closer now, slowly backing Baekhyun into the wall.

 

“ _They_ do. The Queen she…” Baekhyun gulped. “She… was so angry and… I’m scared… what if…”

 

“Don’t cry. Aw, don’t cry, Baekhyunee. I’ll find a way. I want to be with you. I’m sick of hiding like this.”

 

Chanyeol seized Baekhyun and dug his face into his neck, embracing him like he was holding onto his life.

 

“When I’m king… I’ll make it happen. I promise.” Chanyeol said with all the confidence he had.

 

Baekhyun nodded, still stifling his cries, when Chanyeol faced him again.

 

“I’m going to kiss you,” Chanyeol’s hand was cupped around Baekhyun’s cheeks, thumb rubbing small circles on his skin.

 

“Please.”

 

Chanyeol’s lips were soft and cold from the wind. It was gentle, but desperate. The moment Baekhyun tasted Chanyeol, he wanted more.

 

This was Baekhyun’s first kiss. Chanyeol’s first kiss. _Their_ first kiss.

 

It was clumsy, as expected of inexperienced boys. Their noses bumped and Baekhyun didn’t really know what to do with his tongue. But it made him breathless.

 

This was more intimate than anything they’ve ever done. It was so so overwhelming. Chanyeol’s hands on his skin. Chanyeol’s lips against his.

 

Nothing else mattered.

 

•••••

 

It was a phenomena. Two months of pure bliss. It didn’t seem real. Baekhyun had never felt this happier in the entirety of his life.

 

Some of the servants had noticed his peculiar attitude, blaming puberty for his constant bubbliness. Professor Yixing, one of the lead healers in the country and also Baekhyun’s teacher, had also taken interest. Although, he mostly thought that Baekhyun had grown ecstatic about learning all the functions of every single plant in the country.

 

Life was suddenly different. The palace seemed brighter, in spite of its tall walls that has caged Baekhyun his whole life. It was not as suffocating as before anymore.

 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s relationship stayed virtually the same, except it now included a lot of liplocking. They still met at night, albeit less frequently because Chanyeol had become busier.

 

In between their kisses, Baekhyun tried to forget that what they had was forbidden. That only a set of prying eyes can lead to a lifetime of separation. It was dangerous, yet exhilarating.

 

Hyeon Ju doesn’t say anything. However, the thoughtful gaze she gave him made Baekhyun believe that she bears an idea. Baekhyun can only hope that Chanyeol isn’t as obvious.

 

Baekhyun would always warn his prince to be careful, but the minute Chanyeol attacks his lips, all caution was thrown out in a frenzy of their hormones. In just a short time, Chanyeol has learned how to make Baekhyun mewl and throw his head back in pleasure. It’s unfathomable. Only kissing and Baekhyun was already weak in his knees.

 

Chanyeol was fire and Baekhyun loved the burn.

 

•••••

 

It was too good to be true. Baekhyun should’ve expected that.

 

At the passing months of their relationship, Chanyeol’s duties had increased. They saw each other less, which didn’t bother Baekhyun much. He understood the responsibilities of being the heir to the crown. Moreover, the palace was preparing for a visit from one of the Baekjeo Kingdom. Baekhyun was busy as well with his own studies. He had learned most of the things he needed and it was nigh when he was to be assigned to procure his medicine.

 

Baekhyun missed Chanyeol, nonetheless.

 

So he thought he’d make something for Chanyeol in the kitchens. One of his favorites, a dessert made of glutinous sweet rice. The cooks should be done with their work and the maids should have cleaned everything up by now. It was late and the hallways looked similar in the dim light. He took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in somewhere unfamiliar. He didn’t expect to eavesdrop on a heated conversation on his way over.

 

“There must be another way.” Baekhyun heard Chanyeol’s voice plead through the walls.

 

“I’ve given you enough time to support your point, Chanyeol. Time is up. This is going to happen.” The Queen’s said with a stern voice.

 

“... But I don’t love her.” Something cold rushes in Baekhyun’s blood. He doesn’t know what he’s hearing. What it means, but his heart started to feel heavier at each second.

 

“My dear, if these things were based on love, you wouldn’t be prince. This is your duty to your country.”

 

“I can’t.” Chanyeol’s voice broke. For  second, Baekhyun thought he was going to cry. Baekhyun wasn’t supposed to be here. He felt like he was intruding on a part of Chanyeol’s mind.

 

“You can. And you will. The arrangements have already been made. This is necessary for the peace of our kingdom.” The Queen’s caring tone was unrecognizable for Baekhyun. He only knew of her strict rules and sharp tongue. He had almost forgotten that she was a mother. One that Chanyeol loved very much, even if he didn’t say it often.

“In a few days they should arrive. We will hold the ceremonies.”

 

Baekhyun didn’t hear Chanyeol say anything. He can only assume that Chanyeol has nodded in agreement. Baekhyun had no idea what they spoke about next, because as soon as then, he forced his legs out of the hallway. That conversation wasn’t meant for his ears. He doesn’t even know what it was really about.

 

He shouldn’t know what it was about, but his mind was already playing guesses and they didn’t bring any relief to Baekhyun. The Queen. Chanyeol. Arrangements. Ceremonies. Visitors.

 

No, no, no.

 

It can’t be.

 

It must be-

 

But it can also be nothing, right? A play of his imagination.

 

It’s probably nothing.

 

**Nothing.**

 

As Baekhyun lied in his bed, he thought of Chanyeol’s loud laugh to calm himself. He tried, but his head was filled with clouds of doubt he can’t shake off.

•••••

It’s another few days until Baekhyun sees Chanyeol in the flesh again. He has busied himself with chores and studying, focusing instead on plants and ingredients-- things that are easily explained. It wasn’t easy with the chatter about an honorable woman coming to visit with her family. He doesn’t ask. Baekhyun knew what it meant. Still, he refused to believe it.

 

Baekhyun was in the middle of arranging his flasks when Chanyeol steps into his room. The air was heavy as Chanyeol doesn’t even greet him.  Still, he acted as if nothing was wrong. As if he didn’t hear anything that other night.

 

“You’ve been busy these past few weeks?” Baekhyun hummed, ignoring Chanyeol’s discomfort, “What have you been up to?”

 

Chanyeol carried a grim expression, not even bothering to meet Baekhyun's eyes. He was hesitant.

 

“You have something to tell me.” It wasn’t a question.

 

“A family will arrive here tomorrow. From Baekjeo. With their daughter. As prince, I’m tasked to marry her.” Chanyeol declared.

 

“You’re lying.” Baekhyun knew he wasn’t.

 

“I’m sorry, I wish I didn’t have to do this. And I tried--everything! But the marriage has to go through to save the country.”

 

“No. No, Chanyeol. You promised. You said you’d marry _me_.” Baekhyun knew he was being unreasonable. He wasn’t making any sense. He was a commoner-- a poor boy who was lucky enough to live inside the palace, but was so unfortunate to have fallen for a prince. He didn’t have a right.

 

“Baek, please,” Chanyeol holds Baekhyun’s wrists to keep him from thrashing against his chest.

 

“No, _no_ ,” Baekhyun’s voice broke, his heart hammered loudly and tears couldn’t stop flowing from his eyes. “Why. No-just no.”

 

It wasn’t fair. They were only starting. No-- he loved Chanyeol his whole life. He tried to stop it once and failed miserably. Baekhyun _loved_ him. It wasn’t supposed to hurt.

 

“But _I love you_.” Baekhyun pleads, stupidly hoping his feelings would make a difference.

 

“I love you too,” Chanyeol said softly as he realized this was the first time they’ve exchanged those words.

 

“I love you,” Chanyeol repeated, slowly descending his lips on Baekhyun. He murmured it again, softly, before he finally kissed him.

 

Baekhyun kissed back, tiptoeing, desperately grasping on Chanyeol’s neck. He opened his mouth, deepening it but their teeth clashed in their hurry. Baekhyun tasted salty tears and horrible agony in his tongue.

 

Baekhyun had finally said it. And Chanyeol said it back. If only it weren’t under these circumstances.

Chanyeol kissed him. Again. And again. He kissed Baekhyun until they ran out of breath. He kissed him  as if to promise that he’ll only love Baekhyun and no one else. Baekhyun melted into it like he did the first time Chanyeol took his lips.

 

It’s _too_ good. What they have was too good to lose.

 

•••••

 

Chanyeol proposed an idea. He wasn’t only betrothed to a woman, but he was also marrying power. He offered an arrangement with his mother, one she couldn’t refuse. It was a price for his marriage.

 

Just like that, Baekhyun became Chanyeol’s personal herbalist. Arbitrary, of course, but it wasn’t absurd. Chanyeol had a personal physician, so it would only make sense to keep someone close by who could offer him medicine.

 

Baekhyun was unsure if this was really a good idea. It seems like they’re only asking for trouble. He’s too young and inexperienced. This would only draw attention to them more.

 

Even though Baekhyun protested, Chanyeol shrugged him off.

 

“They know we’re friends. It wouldn’t be unusual. I also asked Minseok to be  the captain of personal guards.” Chanyeol assured him.

 

Baekhyun bit his lip and nodded. And really, what else can Baekhyun do but agree? It was either this or separation.

 

Baekhyun did as Chanyeol told him to, because, in many ways, he doesn’t really have the power to say no.

 

The only thing that Baekhyun refused was Chanyeol's request to attend his wedding. The mere thought of Chanyeol kissing some woman already made bile rise from his stomach to his throat. Baekhyun just couldn’t watch someone live the life he wanted to have.

 

So, curled up in his bed, he unleashed his frustrations. The people were cheering for the brand new union, but Baekhyun was too busy pitying himself.

 

He could’ve been born into another body. He hated this. He hated being a boy. Oh, if only he were a princess and not himself. He could marry Chanyeol. It would be him, holding his hand and kissing him as the world watched. They wouldn’t need to hide in the darkness. No secret meetings. No secret kisses. No love he had to keep inside him.

 

To have the person he loves the most within reach but still cannot touch him freely. Life was too cruel.

 

Chanyeol’s wedding day came. The King had ordered a great feast to which the people of his kingdom were invited. It would start at noon, when the sun was at its highest. Everyone was talking about it.

 

Baekhyun had always hated living inside the palace. It was suffocating. No matter where he went, eyes would always follow him. And for a reason his mother never discloses, he was not allowed to roam freely anywhere. He hated it more today, when everyone was in high spirits and he cannot escape the thought of knowing that Chanyeol was promised to another.

 

He hated that his only silver lining in his dark grey life was going to be taken away from him.

 

Baekhyun visited Chanyeol an hour before the ceremonies, upon the latter’s request. He saw Chanyeol adorned in the best _gwanbok_ Baekhyun softly smiled. As expected, Chanyeol looked exquisitely handsome.

 

“Come ‘er,” Chanyeol hithered. “I know that today, I will be someone’s husband.”

 

Baekhyun nodded. It was the bitter truth he couldn’t swallow.

 

“But I want you to know that my heart will always be for you,” Chanyeol took Baekhyun’s hands and placed it on his chest. “I will always wish it was you instead.”

 

Baekhyun tipped his head up and looked at Chanyeol, memorizing every corner of his face-- from his mesmerizing eyes and smallest of moles. Starting today, he’ll have to share Chanyeol, won’t he?

 

“I love you. Always.” Baekhyun pulled Chanyeol in for a chaste kiss.

 

The jars of herbs and medicine lay forgotten on Baekhyun’s desk as a loud clang and cacophony of cheers resonated as a couple was made husband and wife. Baekhyun hid in the darkness of his room, silently praying for a better life.

 

•••••

 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun hadn’t seen each other in days.

 

After the wedding, Baekhyun busied himself with the last of his studies. Soon, he’d be working with the prince’s physician and he did not want to look incapable of doing his job just because he was young. Baekhyun’s mother expressed her distaste when she found out. She didn’t approve of it, but the prince’s word was law. She could only look at Baekhyun with pity in her eyes. He didn’t ask, but he had a feeling that his mother knew more than she let on.

 

As for Chanyeol, he was acquainting himself with the family he married into. It was more than a union between him and the princess of course, it was also a political merge. He was also doing more than conversing with his wife, but Baekhyun refused to think about it.

 

When Chanyeol called him to his quarters that night, Baekhyun felt the trepidation of excitement and anxiety. Chanyeol must have missed him, but there was a voice in the back of Baekhyun’s head whispering his insecurities.

 

Maybe Chanyeol wanted to break it off? He spent a night with the princess and  found out that he didn’t really love Baekhyun at all. That it was easier to be with a woman of royalty-- someone who could give him a child. The ideas gnawed at his skin, slowly breaking it to get into his bones.

 

“Have you been drinking?” Baekhyun asked the moment he saw Chanyeol lying at the foot of his bed, face painted with a bloom of red and a dazed look in his eyes. The room reeked of alcohol.

 

“Baekhyunee,” Chanyeol cheered and motioned him to come closer.

 

Baekhyun walked toward Chanyeol, scrunching his nose at the disarray in the room. The bed was unmade and there were opened bottles of alcohol lying in the nearby table. It was as if a gathering had happened beforehand.

 

Baekhyun’s heart dropped to his stomach when he’s suddenly pulled down, his chest crashing against Chanyeol’s.

 

“Chanyeol, wha-” but Chanyeol kissed him with his alcohol stained lips. He parted Baekhyun’s mouth with his tongue, not giving Baekhyun a chance to protest.

 

Baekhyun tried to pull away, not liking the bitter taste and forceful hand, but Baekhyun was pulled closer with Chanyeol’s hand on his back. Baekhyun hovered over him with his legs kneeled on both sides of Chanyeol’s thighs, almost straddling him.

 

“I missed you,” Chanyeol giggled into Baekhyun’s lips, still holding him down with his grip.

 

“I missed you too,” He couldn’t help but soften and smile at Chanyeol’s words. He still felt uncomfortable, Chanyeol’s one hand was dancing under his robes, tracing goosebumps on his skin. “What happened here?”

 

“We had a party here earlier, but that’s not important,” Chanyeol slurred his words. He brought a hand to Baekhyun’s face and held it between his fingers. “What’s important is that you’re so beautiful.”

 

Baekhyun felt his cheeks turn a shade of pink. “Am I?”

 

“Yes,” Chanyeol nodded enthusiastically, “The princess..., she’s pretty with her long hair, but you’re so much more beautiful.”

 

Baekhyun stiffened at the mention of his lover’s wife.

 

“She’s softer, and smaller but you… your lips taste so much better. She doesn’t take control either, you know? She just lays there…” Chanyeol gave him a puzzled look, not noticing the obvious distress in Baekhyun’s face.

 

“I-I don’t want to talk about this,” Baekhyun tried to move away, to escape from this kind of talk. He didn’t want to hear about it. He used all of his energy to _not_ think about it. He was not going to hear how the princess was in bed straight from Chanyeol. But Chanyeol held him down, forcing him to sit on his lap

 

Chanyeol was looking angry now, his nails were digging into Baekhyun’s skin and his words were sharper. “She moaned a lot, you know. And while I was fucking her, all I could think of was your face.  If it was you, would you be louder? She felt good, but I think you’ll feel so much bet-”

 

Slap.

 

“D-don’t.” Baekhyun choked at his words, his vision becoming blurry with the tears pooling in his eyes. The sting of the impact stayed in his palm as Chanyeol laid frozen.

“I-I can’t do this right now.” Baekhyun immediately crawled off Chanyeol’s lap, feeling the disgust in his skin where Chanyeol had touched him.

 

When he got off the bed, he saw something that made his heart drop to his stomach and his blood run cold. His legs screamed at him to run, his fingers itched to hide himself, and his eyes prayed that what he saw was a lie.

 

He didn’t know for how long the door was open. He didn’t know how much had been heard.

 

All he knew was that the princess stood in front of them, staring in disbelief.

 

•••••

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you've enjoyed the story. The update will be written after May. This was supposed to be a oneshot but due to time constraints, I was only able to finish half. Please excuse any mistakes or typos.  
> I appreciate comments and constructive criticisms~ You can leave some here or mention me at my twitter (@toppopie)


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